Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
