so explain again why im purple
no
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
