She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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