i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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