I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize