That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
