Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
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cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
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Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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