I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He has the fingertips of a God
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
