But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
