so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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