the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
