AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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