its not stalking. its research.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
