Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
