kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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