Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
