apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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