I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
