so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
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I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
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Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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