Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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