Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize