i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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