So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
