never play flip cup with pint glasses
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Best friends brother. Beat that.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
