Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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