If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize