i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
