Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
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I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
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At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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