I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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