I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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