i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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