By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize