Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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