Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize