I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
please come you make the beer taste better
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
