butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
