I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
