the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
