He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
