yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize