can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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