That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
