you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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