Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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