Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
