never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
