I CAN MOONWALK!
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
