glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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