My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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