WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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