i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
