i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
