Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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