Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
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