remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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