Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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