Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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