youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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