i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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