Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
