But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
