Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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