Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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